Friday 6 October 2017

Old school memories: Kamay

Dormitory life in Seventh-day Adventist boarding schools is quite stifling and controlled, considering that there are quite a number of rules that are derived from this church's doctrines and the application and imposition of these policies tend to be dictatorial and authoritative. Considering the nature of high school students - hyperactive, mischievous and unruly, one could imagine the impact of these rules on their lives. For us back then it was a constant preoccupation to outwit the custodians or to create situations that could offer a balance to the strictness, so to speak.

One day word got to us that a movie of Bruce Lee was showing in the city 68 kilometers from Southern Mindanao Academy. Since most of us in the boys' dormitory were Bruce Lee wannabes, missing this movie was unthinkable. However, there were two policies that stood between us and this awesome karateist. One was "watching movies inside the cinema is a sin," and therefore we had to make sure we were not caught in the act. The second policy was "no one can leave the campus without a duly accomplished campus leave form," and we knew too well that acquiring that permission to leave in the middle of the week was impossible. 

Not to be deterred by these rules Rodney and I managed to leave undetected through gaps in the fence and we took a ride to the city. The movie was so thrilling that we almost kicked and punched each other while intently watching it and we vowed to practice those moves the moment we got back to the dorm. Getting back was as clandestine as getting out, but the moment we entered the dorm we knew that we were doomed when the dean barred our entry with his hulking form and demanded that we be honest in describing our escapade.

In no time we had the verdict and the punishment. "You are suspended from classes for a whole day and you will scrub and clean the entire dormitory including both lower and upper floors and bathroom." You could hear the other guys in the hallway snickering at our plight.

The next day we tackled one room and one level at a time. Collecting garbage, sweeping, scrubbing, pushing lockers so all corners can be cleaned, and that was when we spotted a 500 ml Coca Cola bottle lodged behind a locker. It was filled halfway with months-old crystalizing urine apparently forgotten by someone who didn't want to go the toilet in the middle of the night. The chemist in our minds kicked in and we thought that soaking a bar of bath soap in the concentrated urine and then drying it in the sun would make a nice-scented piece of soap.

It is common for occupants of the dormitory to run out of stock of the basic commodities before the scheduled trips home and many of us had to share our soap or toothpaste with others. Anyone who inadvertently left his soap or shampoo in the bathroom would find it being used by someone else without his permission and this practice was just perfect for our plan.

After the piece of Kamay soap was seasoned and dry we left it at the ledge by the showerhead before going to bed that night and warned our close friends about it. The usual rush to the showers early the next day ensued, and as we foresaw it, the guys in the other room that laughed at our plight took advantage of the unguarded soap. Next thing after bathing and dressing up for school is the cafeteria, and we were all lined up for our plates when someone said, "I can smell spoiled pee." People started sniffing around and it was discovered that the guys who used the soap stank like a public urinal. There were four of them who had to rush back to the bathroom for a more thorough and tediously done bath. By that time we already threw the offending soap away and our identities remain unknown up to this very day.


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