A doctor's life: Tabas

The Tabas - a type of machete preferred by the Moro tribes, is quite an awesome piece of tool and weapon. You will see this everyday around rural Maguindanao, and it actually is an accepted item in the local costume. Even kids who are sent on an errand by their parents carry one just like they would carry a stick.

One day a man decided to relieve himself in a manner like the rest of the guys in his community. He went out and chose a nice cool spot among the shoulder-high grass for the act. Apparently he didn't want to display his butt in the process. It took quite a while for him to get done and he kept quiet so as not to be noticed by a neighbor who was passing by. The neighbor was carelessly swinging a tabas as he walked and it accidentally hit the head of the guy crouching in the grass who let out a painful scream. The tabas-wielding guy turned and discovered a bleeding man at his feet.

With the gapping wound now gushing blood, the frightened and remorseful neighbor carried him piggy-back to the hospital. They got to me in the nick of time, and I discovered a very neat wound about 5 inches at the vertex of his scalp with a chip on the skull, but no fracture or penetrating injuries. In the process of suturing the wound, a smell came wafting up to my nose. Even the nurse noticed it and she started to check around to find the source of such an offensive smell. The patient embarrassedly admitted that he didn't have time for the post-poop paper-work hence he still had unfinished business to be done after the surgery. His neighbor too discovered that he had some smelly stuff around his arms and hands from carrying the patient.

With the wound sewed up, the patient gingerly tiptoed to the bathroom with his friend in tow. Such was the happy ending of the tale of two friends and a tabas.