Kailee surprised me one night by sending this message via messenger. It really made me speechless to realize that at her 11 years she could put her thoughts together and express them in almost impeccable grammar. Her introspection was also a surprise, and her apparent spiritual attitude made me feel blessed. To cap it, she gave it as a tribute to my own blogging attempts, like she was following in my footsteps. This is what she wrote on March 14, 2019:
("I made this as my first blog lolo. Trying to follow your footsteps.")
"I'm bored. Really bored.
What do I do when I am bored?
I used to read, or probably sketch a bit on my papers. Eh, you know I'm using past tense. Yeah, that was before. When I was still the small girl I was, not knowing much.
Now I probably will draw on my tab, or text friends, and other digital related stuff. Mostly the chatting is important but there are times when I just wasted life even if it was a few seconds. At least I'm a bit better than I was before, I hope.
When I arrived here in Davao, I was pretty still okay with less to no interaction with my phone. That was the only gadget I would use, and so I drew more than I looked at my phone. In Thailand I was very strict with my phone because I knew that I should only use it in the weekends, so it wouldn't distract me from school. I was a really good girl. Until, I found out something.
I could listen to any song I liked or anyone singing with earphones. So soon enough, I started listening and not doing anything productive anymore. I started listening to music while I did homework, even though it would make me less focused. I just couldn't be in the house without music. I wouldn't talk to anyone the whole day and just sit, crouched at the desk, listening to animation meme songs. At one point I didn't even do my homework properly and I snapped one day.
It was 3 already, and I had realized that I planned to do my vocabulary way before. I was listening to music and didn't even realized time passed too quickly. My mom scolded me and kept my tab for a week, while only giving me my phone for communication purposes. That was what my phone was supposed to be used for, not endlessly listening music, but communicating with other people. I also scolded myself. Inside. And outside. I literally screamed when I realized it was already 3:15 and I didn't finished my last homework. I procrastinated because it was the last and that I could do it anytime. Not.
I started to slowly stop using the gadget. Well, I stopped being anxious about my gadgets when they were taken away from me.
There was this one day, I had no gadget at all. Nothing. Miraculously, I drew and drew and read and also went out to the rabbits. That going out to the rabbits continually was enough. I usually never even look at them unless it was to feed them or what, because of videos.
Then, I decided whenever anyone would call me, I would just leave the tab alone and go. I also started reading my devotionals more. And spent time with my Lala praying in the morning. And interacted with people more throughout the day. It was glorious, but I still need to improve on reading books and drawing traditionally, although I do prefer that to digital sometimes.
I also tried to focus more on homework.
I think God intended this to happen.
My earphones, after one end being cut off by a youngster, started not working. I tried another one until it also stopped working. I think the other one stopped because I accidentally dropped some water on one of the heads. And then soon enough, music wasn't needed anymore. I didn't need to listen to it everyday while doing my homework. I think the music disappeared altogether when the earphones just stopped.
And now, I don't need that distraction anymore. I did drawings. Digital, I can confess, but its more productive than just doing nothing, listening to music. Drawing and drawing more helped me improve, along with friends who gave me good advice and complimented me on my new drawings. I also write, like what I am doing now, which is good, since I have many projects in mind and I want them to become real not only in my drawings but in writing. I can write poems too, some that are very deep while others are light and funny. I am also being taught by a friend to song-write, and I hope soon enough I can sing an original song of mine to my family.
I thank God for giving me friends in Davao who care, for a family who scolds me for what is right, but still love me and take me on adventures anywhere. For two pets who make me come out into the fresh air everyday, for my talents that keep me busy whenever I am bored, and for childhood friends who kept my childhood happy and memorable.
For Jesus who died for all of us."
Here's a couple of her digital creations:
That's the blogger, ready to fly high with her talents:
Here's another one written on April 27, 2020
So, I originally wasn't going to talk about corona. But since I wrote a personal essay on it, but I decided I'd just talk about it, since I feel like doing so.
Covid-19 has been getting out of hand lately. A lot of things changed, and it was hard getting adjusted to the fact of not seeing much of my friends. Schoolwork is much harder to manage, since we usually score by ourselves with scoring textbooks but now have to score with the teachers through video chat. Not to mention tests. And technical difficulties with Internet and stuff. It's been hard to even adjust to the boredom and not being able to go out.
Everyone is totally scared of Covid, everyone is having a hard time and everyone is afraid, right?
Uhm, I'm not so scared. Whenever Covid is mentioned, all I think about are the people suffering, and I feel very sorry for them. But there's never been any fear. I never felt fear even when times started to change and many difficulties came our way. It's pretty weird, isn't it? Well, I know there's been things like this before, and what I know is that we will get through this hard time.
Not only that, it's God. He helped us a lot lately, with all our expenses we found ways to be able to still have food and shelter. He's been taking care of us ever since it started, and I have not felt really scared of Covid anymore.
Every bad day, every horrible time or change comes to an end. Everything does. It feels like an eternity staying inside for so long, but it'll end eventually. Even with the consequences later on, they'll still end. Covid might be scary, but it isn't immortal, and people are working to find a cure. One day, we'll be able to hug each other again. And people have still recovered, not everyone who succumbs to the disease dies. We still have hope. We're still alive. And we will get through this, with our awesome God, together.
I have this little poem I wrote in school, a long time before this all happened, that I'll share.
"A change, big or small,
Can affect you greatly, or not at all.
Whatever change comes your way,
Always remember to be thankful and pray!"
Covid is not so scary at all, with God with us.
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