The House

A recent introspection revealed that I am presently living inside a house with many doors, some windows and with a big gaping hole of a roof. Further survey shows that many of the doors are sealed shut while some are open, most windows are open, and the roof not only leaks - it pours to the point of flooding.

What a place to live and it certainly would take a lot of courage and faith to keep up with the demands of such a house. How does one understand this riddle?

I came to comprehend this as I realized that only a few days separated me from the second anniversary of my losing a job that I held for 17 years because I chose to uphold God over a day of the week, and remaining jobless ever since. This will tell you that come November 30, I will be 2 years without a paying job.

What a depressing story to write! Prozac couldn’t help and neither could a psychiatrist. So how does a hard worker and the head of the family like me cope? How could someone who has been earning since childhood and benefiting from his sweat and pain all these years endure sudden loss of steam and profit? Let me explain the house first.

The closed doors represent paths that lead to opportunities for financial gain. This would tell you that throughout the recent two years that I have been through, I have never seen an open door to a paying job. I couldn’t recall how many application letters, resumes and CV’s I have sent out. Some of them to companies who needed my expertise and who were very happy that I was applying, but nothing materialized.

The closed windows are the black spots in my spiritual visual field that prevent me from seeing what God has in store for me. I just simply cannot see through these closed windows.

The open doors represent gates that allowed me to get out and work for the underprivileged at my own expense and without pay. These doors led me to the Muslims in Balabagan Lanao Del Sur and Midsayap Cotabato, the Matigsalug in Malikongkong and other villages along the Davao River , the Moken Sea Gypsies in Koh Phayam Southern Thailand, the Karen and Hmong tribes in Northern Thailand, three orphanages in Northeastern Thailand and the poor in Vientiane Laos.

The open windows are the promises in the Bible that I am holding on to in faith. From these windows I can see that my almighty Father in heaven is in charge of my future and that I have nothing to fear.

The big gaping hole in the roof represents the point of entry of blessings from heaven. These include the providential jobs that opened for my wife and two children in a country that has a lot of opportunities for us to work for God, the baby - my granddaughter, that God sent to keep me busy, happy and inspired, and the congregation of Christians at Evangelical Church of Bangkok that has nurtured my spiritual growth. We have more than enough clothes for ourselves, more than enough food on the table and just enough money to enjoy life one day at a time. Our health has not failed and we have all the time to bond as a family in spite of the mature ages of my children. As you will note this paragraph is the longest of all and if I don’t stop writing about our blessings the computer might log out by itself.

I may be projecting myself here as a very positive and strong-willed person living in a very unusually odd house of many doors and windows. What I almost failed to mention is the bathroom with a cold shower, which I could stay under when I feel like crying. When that does happen I will be tapping on this keyboard again while asking, “Lord, what will you have me to do?”