the road is high and long,
every step heavier
than the beginning.
when do we know
when it's time to let go?
all the dreams you know
of a kingdom
you will never be ruling.
will you douse the fire
in your soul?
hope is never lost
but reality is what
keeps the heart beating.
there's a faded light
in us all.
with my heartbeat racing
priority fading
a gold mine never seemed enough
and at night i sit alone
at the edge of my bed.
with all my blind chasing
got me jaded and ailing
slowing down is always tough
when you got a heavy heart
pushing on your legs
now i know why you've fallen,
fell without me calling
straight from heaven, its amazing
how you could look in my eyes
and make my worries end
do you know that you changed me?
forever a mystery
i've come to a point where i could see
that in your hand
is where i lay my heart to rest.
ran out of reasons
why i should stall
and all of life's lessons
i erased from the wall
i took a picture
of myself
looked like nature
has left me on a shelf
but your eyes, they still glisten..
when the dark
was clouding my mind
you told me to look
deep inside
told me i'd find
love that never dies
i see through your eyes
a different light
in my life, you are the prism..
worried why the road keeps turning
turning on to dead ends
hurry up and sip your coffee
that cup of illusion in your hand
never seems like you're moving
always back to where you started
seems like you're always hanging
hanging by a single thread
when you have been always wanting
something you cant seem to get
forget about where you're going
there are so many roads left
when you are forever longing
for greener grass and warmer bread
smile for tomorrow is still dawning
live every moment till your sun sets
:-)
in every piece of paper lies
the bitter truth in every smile
a box full of love
that vanished in thin air.
the tears that smudged your hurting lines
i read it through a hundredth time
a familiar chill runs down my spine
it feels like you're right here
your smile revives the soul that died
salt my wounds then twist the knife
the pain makes me feel alive
i pray it never disappears
and all alone i tried to hide
this box that keeps me awake at night
filled with both our broken lives
and the lies we used to share
too late,
tried to come back
but you're too late.
your breath stinks
of all the things you hate.
spit on me but the wind
blows it back to your eyes.
your eyes,
you try so hard
to close your eyes.
surround yourself with
these dark lies.
but thoughts of what you ruined
still shines so bright.
yes, the sun.
you came in time
just to see the sun.
rise above
the doubts of everyone.
does it burn you to know
that i've won this fight?
your life,
the downward spiral
you call your life.
singed by the reaching
rays of the sunlight.
you wish it was winter
but no, no, not tonight.
cause you came just in time
to see the sun rise at midnight.
your shores are rougher than the seas
and what was once a lovely island
is now a sunken dream
and in your eyes i slowly search the reef
looking for clues of atlantis
the love you have hidden from me
and my futile attempts to retrieve
the one place we both could escape to
has taken the air out of me
and i fear reality overpowering the myth
ill age without finding atlantis
the love you have hidden from me
how can i ever pull you out
if my grip you doubt
you're slipping
you're looking down
you've already drowned.
how can you ever see the light
that the truth isn't always right
you're pulling me
closer to your side
tell me no more tonight
your gloom makes my skin crawl
you make everything stall
vicious you are
a contagious phenobarbital
you dull the colors on the walls.
how can you ever move on from here
if the losses you don't fear
blindly cutting ties
to the handful that used to care.
how long till you disappear?
i tiptoed on the edge of a boulder
hoping id wake up
you gently tapped my shoulder
but it wasn't enough
woke up on the pavement
with pieces of glass in my eyes
is this entertainment?
why doesn't anybody cry?
the future glares at me
like a train coming fast
tied up on the railway with my heart in my pocket
salvation out of hand
i am filled with hopes and my fears
and questions unanswered
try to look behind the coats and the tears
there's a story waiting to be heard
when its all over will i see you
walking in the tunnel with the light?
is it all over now that i see people
come and go waving goodbye..
always goodbye.
photographs
of the memories of the past
takes me back,
way back
to when the stars
i could count.
laying on the grass
hours would pass
never enough
so you'd turn the hour glass
till the sun shone
all over town.
the way you smiled
took hours off the miles
we travelled
till our lives
got tired
and dishevelled
thought it was best
to let you down.
that look in your eyes
i should've glanced
one more time
before i said goodbye.
every time i miss you
i would wonder why
i feared
i'd let my dreams down.
i still wonder why
i miss you now.
you're as far from me
as all the stars i see
and memories of you,
as dazed as i seem to be,
are unlike the stars,
they never burn out.
don't tell me I
would never rise.
disbelief is plastered
in your eyes.
i lose grip, i see you
drifting to the other side.
don't die down
i need you now.
come with me
lets taste the cloud.
let the river
take the dagger
and turn around.
light it up
and take a puff.
inhale till your
spirit's lifted up.
do it because our life's
contained in a paper cup.
take the crown,
stand your ground.
there's a million
of them now.
tear apart
their turbulent hearts
until they bow.
what about love?
why do i crave?
why do i lose my mind
on things i will never find?
what about fate?
you chose to be late
or was it all in time
you really were never mine
do i still love?
why can't i hate?
why don't you look at me
take me out of my misery?
what about faith?
why do i wait?
when i know i will never see
the woman you said you'd be
your gentle face, i cannot waste
the time i have, i need to know.
am i what you need? everyday i feed
on images of you pasted on my wall.
my sheets get colder
the night's much longer
maybe its best i moved on along.
are we much older?
take this off our shoulders
haven't we learned anything at all?
it flows and stops, takes me high then drops
me into the ocean of your dismay
don't save me now, just take a bow
and leave me here alone to decay.
the lows get lower
nowhere near sober
maybe its best i moved on alone.
if you were wiser
take me off your shoulders
haven't we learned anything at all?
walking on along
I'm a little stressed
writing you a song
about the bitterness
of letting go of a life
there's no end to this
can't look you in the eye
oh why do i regress
when will i stand strong
before the enemy
been holding on so long
i've an affinity
to letting people go
when will i ever try
to live up to what i know
oh why do i still lie
i hear you
again and again
i still don't understand.
slowly I
realize that all i
ever did was dread
now I'm sitting on the edge.
close your eyes
don't look down.
wipe your tears
just push me now.
i look down
make friends with gravity,
she's smiling now.
its 'bout time
don't you worry
i wont miss the ground,
go ahead and push me now.
i feel weightless
like a cloud.
you feel heartless
don't you now.
stars look up
making a wish
as i am falling down.
stars they feel
ive burned too long
my brightness has run out,
go ahead and push me now.
in a minute
ill be gone.
a million wishes
for everyone.
when i go
will u be
still the same
still with me?
will you long
for my hand?
will you hold,
can you stand?
when stars fall
from the sky,
will u hide
when i die?
when i call
will you hear?
through the storm
loud and clear.
tired of looking at myself
staring into the wishing well
i drowned there before.
haven't been to heaven
but sure have been to hell
then i woke up on the floor.
falling from my hand
my life's just like the sand
cant get it back no more.
trying to understand
when she said talk to the hand
then she showed me the door.
looking through anothers eyes
i see myself walking by
not knowing where to go.
watching other people fly
none of them stopping by
it was just like a TV show.
trying to runaway
but i am handcuffed to today
judge said its not my time to go.
i tried to escape
but they were waiting outside the gate
put a gun down my throat.
when all of you is spent
and there's nothing left to hide
and tomorrow's just a dream
that the daylight takes away
when your heart is bent
and torn from both sides
they don't hear you scream
your just another lonely face
when the days are long
but not as long as the night
you almost stop believing
and all that's true is a lie
when all that's right become wrong
and the sparkle has left your eyes
then you stop dreaming
and start living your life.
don't know what to do
with all the time i got
don't know what to say
words are never enough
its hard to know but I'm hoping
that the door is still open
time flies so fast
i catch myself in a blur
don't wanna realize I'm too late
don't wanna miss a turn
don't wanna agonize bout tomorrow
but we know the worlds changing
how do we know what's in the dark
if we don't step out of the light
how do you change this heart
when it just feels so right
i jumped off a cliff
and till now I'm still falling
don't know whats ahead
all i see are shades of gray
its dark all around
but i still see your face
just wanna get out of this haze
and feel the sun on me shining
Arose from an eventful sleep
Still hearing the sounds of fire trucks and sheep
Realized on my own
That it’s been too long, I should’ve known
I know that time wont wait
I had to write this before it’s too late
I just didn’t wanna miss out
On who you are and what you’re all about
All the sunsets on the beach
Just laying till the stars we reach
Getting wet when it rains
Be together till we walk with a cane
Maybe we need to be
in the future, just like in our dreams
I say this without a doubt
Now tell me would you wanna miss out?
if you could read
between the lines
of why i cry
and why i smile,
why it rains
and why the sun shines
right after you say
i do.
if you could only
see my life
that not a moment
passes by,
that i don't think
i can even try,
not to think
of you.
if you could only
realize
that I'm tired
of telling lies
and playing games,
pushing me away
from you.
if you could only
see my eyes
before it closes
every night
praying it will open
in the morning
seeing you.
I'm tired of all the phony compliments
in the end it makes no difference
we're all still alone and needing
I'm tired of this chaotic pace
wanna drift away to where dreams are made
your heartbeat the only thing ill be hearing
i wanna know how it feels
to touch your face, is this real?
you lift my spirits up high above the ceiling
i don't belong here anymore
take me away and close the door
to everything that made me stop believing
a different time, a different place
somewhere our love is safe
far from the world so deceiving
take my hand and don't let go
if you won't we'll never know
the answer behind the mysteries
of what we're feeling.
is this the end
of the life we lived?
i don't see no road
out of here.
i see only one sign
i believe
and it points to one thing
that is clear.
that what we had
we don't have no more.
it gets harder
to see you each day.
and the flame that
used to burn before
slowly died out
along the way.
try to forget and
move on with this
but you know
that's not happening.
as my heart
overcomes my wits
i know its your heart
ill be breaking.
it hurts but
I'm not gonna lie.
I will never
be here to stay.
with all my heart
i apologise,
that there is no
easier way to say
goodbye.
the ocean between us
so wide
when will the moon ever
change the tide
so far, so far
if only i could mail my heart
i need you now
so don't be late
if you could only be here
i would feel better than great
why now? why only now?
why hesitate?
but i once heard a wise man speak
don't rush when you still got food
on your plate
slow down, slow down
you'll find your way
i don't wanna reminisce forever but
don't give up they say
good things come to those
who wait
you'll see, you'll see
it will come when its free
i hope someday your face
ill see
i pray this feeling
will never leave me
never doubt, never fear
sometimes love just hits you like a spear.
The day is over
Darkness overcoming the light
The night sings to me a lonesome lullaby
Memories are monsters
And they eat me alive
This vicious cycle makes me wonder
If you were right
Just like cancer
Gradually consuming me inside
Exposing my weaknesses
There’s nothing left to hide
Afraid no longer
Of the dark and dismal sky
Its 3 am and I’m turning off the light
Sometimes situations are so simple
Simple but we complicate
We try, at times,
Too hard to mingle
Try too hard to give away
Our hearts are tired and unpredictable
Each beat duller than yesterday
Try to cease but it’s too painful
Far too stale to make us stay
What happens if we hurl it out the window?
Would we get it back someday?
Is there anything larger than our ego?
Try to alter but it’s too late
No one promised us tomorrow
No one said everything would be ok
A little bit of joy,
A little bit of sorrow
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way
for one last time
i look at your smile
one more time i ask was it all worthwhile
all the anger
i told her
forever thought
we would always be we
old songs bring back
all these memories
of me holding her
though it only got colder
after all these years
looking back at the rear
asking myself
why haven't we made it till here
we we're soldiers
till the war was over
sooner or later
time will tell
if history will ever
repeat itself
i remember
the beautiful disaster
somebody tell me that I'm wrong
and you're right
that we should forget about
what happened last night
somebody tell me that its true
that without you
i wouldn't have reached heaven
in just one flight
i know i'd be so untrue
if i told you
that i haven't imagined you and me
together one more time
woke up alone today
sorry smile on my face
wishing we had bargained
for more than just one night.
when it rains, it pours
and it hurts to the core
everytime i see you pour your heart out
onto the spit-shine floor.
look inot my eyes, they adore
but my heart it abhors,
the way i've turned into someone
i wasn't before.
why cant i be the same me
the same person since i was three?
happiness is as just as elusive
as a squirrel hiding in a tree.
what do i have to do to be free
to escape all this negativity?
change is just as constant
as the sun shining on me.
Someone save me
I know this won’t be easy
Help me protect me
From myself
The silence that gets me
As darkness embrace me
Why does my heart have to be
Kept in a shelf
This hole that I’m digging
With my bare hands bleeding
Is a never ending
Cry for help
This hand that I’m holding
So uncomforting
Unfamiliar, I’m asking
Why I’m holding myself
Someone pull me
Out From everything that enslaves me
Erase from my memory
Don’t let me feel
I’m releasing
Everything I’ve been keeping
Better start believing
I want something real
Coz this feeling
Has lost all its meaning
I am not selling
My soul again
Your lies unending
Your eyes always pretending
Your soul is burning
In hell my friend
Look at me now
Have I changed somehow?
Got a mind of my own I use
Still make old mistakes
But with a different excuse.
When you look at me now
Do you really know my face?
My smile, my laughter, my love
Gone without a trace.
But look a little closer now, I beg
Do you really think that is all that’s there?
Would you even dare comprehend
That what you see aint always what you get.
There’s another side of me
That you haven’t figured out yet.
Concentrate now, don’t fret.
Look at me now
I’ve been wanting you to know somehow.
Don’t believe everything you see
Question me now, it’s all free.
Don’t judge me by my immoralities
I am imperfect, but we all are,
Aren’t we?
Come inside my mind now,
tread carefully.
It must be clearer now,
do you see?
That aside from all my iniquities
I am just me.
I may or may not act accordingly
It’s just funny
how you are blinded
By other peoples mediocrity.
Now, look at me.
I feel like I’m 13 again
The stupid choices I make
I’m losing much of my oxygen
Just so that you can take
The life out of what we had, and then
Tell me that it’s for my sake
I’m losing another argument
This time, this pact I have to break
The life of this isn’t going any further
I’ll turn it off and pull the plug
And glue my soul back together
Before the pieces are too small to pick up
This was never gonna last forever
I’m getting tired of staring at the clock
I’m not trying to act clever
You’re just running out of luck
Running out of reasons why i shouldn’t
Write about this tragedy
You know I could have but I didn’t
Let go of the rope hastily
So, I’ll kiss it one more time and pull the trigger
All it ever brought was sweet misery
I watch its remains flow down the river
It was time to kill the apathy.
On the tip of my fingers
I light up a pack full of anger
Notwithstanding the obvious danger
I inhale the killer
She looks so much harmless
As she slowly starts to harness
My feeble spirit, she leads it
To a bottomless and infinite hole
She controls all the roles
Of my unconscious multi-personal self
She’s commanding my being
And I lose any form of reasoning
The future I’m not seeing
As I stop believing in miracles
Feels so good, in the mood
As I stood one foot in my grave
No I cannot let go
My whole body and soul is dependent
on the feeling I get since the day we first met
a decade ago
and I know that someday she will go
and I will be left choking
as I wake in the morning
my pillow will still be reeking of her scent
I am wasting away and
I know she will not stay till tomorrow
I will light up another
Just to make me feel a little more secure
I inhale through my nose
There she goes doing it all over again
It’s a vicious cycle
I’m vulnerable when I feel her warmth
I sit and I ponder
And wonder what I will do without her
I’m in love with the killer
And in my chest she will always linger.
Why do we have a craving
For that elusive peace of mind
We may never find.
Is there really something
That may carry us above the waters of pain?
Are we all swimming in vain?
As we look into the eyes
Of everyone that pass us by, they never cry,
No matter how sad the times
We’re all deaf to the lies
Believing it’s alright, don’t you wonder why?
Please don’t deny
That we’re all just seeking
For that place called heaven on earth
Are we even worth?
But the truth is we’re all just sinking,
Alone deeper into the mud of our despair
Yes, there’s no one there
And as soon as we are drowning
We reach out our hand as we realize our fate
But it’s too late.
As our hearts stop beating
It becomes clear that you and me
Are just trying not to be
lonely.
Can’t you see?
That everything is just a facade.
When the curtain opens
There’s no one there
What’s left is just a memory
Of what used to be,
You and me.
Its like magic
Filling up my senses
Phrases turn into sentences
One thing leading to another
Not even a rocket scientist can explain this
Its euphoric
Like taking a potent shot through the vein
Driving both of us insane
Yes, reality is so mundane
Living in the pleasure of the moment
Not feeling any pain
Yet its so tragic
Because it has to end just like everything
Like saying goodbye to a beautiful earthling
Back to reality,
Something,
That when im with you, is a rarity
Coz its like im dreaming
Till you stop kissing.
when you see me on the streets its like deja vu
you think you know me but girl im not with you.
ya'll want me to be different but that aint cool
yeah i can be reverent but sometimes i act a fool.
everything about my past has been a long dark secret
but the time has come atlast, man i cant keep it.
when you'd get to know me you'd think im a monument erected
its gonna be hard to break me but if you could, girl thats an achievement
you know,everything about me is an understatement
kinda like good wine left in the basement
like you work your ass off but never got a raise, man.
i know by now you'd be scratchin' your head, man.
now, you think you know me? better think again, man.............
you come up to me
like you know something
but when your mouth opens to speak
your words dont mean anything
don't talk to me
like you know everything
'coz the fact of the matter is
you know nothing
about me and how i think
you gotta stop acting
like you've read my autobiography
you better start digging
'coz this is just my physique
the surface don't mean nothing
i am deeper than me
and my words will keep your head spinning
starting to get dizzy?
yeah i knew this was coming
so you better be ready
you know i'll be waiting
and keep your heartbeat steady
'coz when you're in too deep
lady,
there's no escaping
Memories of you
What do I do?
When I find myself
Sitting under the street light
Memories of you
Memories of who?
I forget when I find myself
Walking in the sunshine
It has been a while
I never changed my style
But Sometimes I find myself
Faking it on the outside
Yeah it has been a while
Still can’t forget your smile
Now I find myself
Drifting to the other side
Painting me a picture
Of a life much better
Still I find myself
Reminiscing the old times
Trying to write you a letter
Of how I’m so much happier
But I find myself
Writing gibberish like a child
Why does your memory stay?
In my mind like it’s a constant play
I hate it when I find myself
Wiping my eyes dry
I’m trying to go away
moving on to a different day
But still I find myself
Dreaming of my old life
Of how it used to be
When you were still with me
When will I ever find myself
Writing up a new rhyme?
Just wanted you to know
It’s hard but ill let it go
Coz I still find myself
Holding on to your lies.
as the sun is fading
it gets dark around here
i'm always waiting
for something not clear
I'm so tired of hiding
my hopes and my fears
no, its not entertaining
the music i hear
the deafening silence
i hear so clear
outside I'm smiling
to hide the tears
inside I'm dying
to hold you, my dear
inside I'm trying
to get over you, my dear
I'm not through explaining
why you're there and i'm here
when my heart stops breaking
i'll run to you, my dear
now this is how i rhyme,
this is how this goes
when im not feelin fine
this is how i flow
now i got a couple of words
that i need to say
i know no one cares to listen
i'ma say it anyway
now as i said in the beginning
this is how this goes
when my problems high as the ceiling
this is how my feelings show
when things build up inside you
and you cant get it out
coz you got no one to run to
man, you gotta get it out
those feelings start to rot
yeah, they start to stink
after sometime and you cant throw it out
man, you start to think
can i keep this to myself forever?
can i go on alone?
im starting to doubt myself, i never
thought i'd ever need anyone
now im starting to miss
the line, "every things gonna be alright"
im starting to reminisce
the feeling of someone holding me tight
the feeling of someone holding my hand
when im feeling down
telling me this isnt the end
even if no one else is around
the feeling that someone accepts
you for who you are
and doesnt count what you lack
someone who helps you erase your scars
someone who would walk a million miles
just to be with you
and when you dream at night
you know shes dreamin of you too
i know this may be way too crazy
but thats how this is supposed to be
i cant tell it any other way
writing is how i get it tout of me..
how do i start talkin about somethin thats been in my
head for weeks?
somethin thats been in my head so long i cant bring
myself to sleep
in front of the mirror i ask, how do i start talkin
when i cant put into words what i feel?
i wake up and question im i still dreamin or is this
real
sometimes i think i never wake up because i never even
sleep at all
i close my eyes and a million thoughts keep me up i
dont know who to call
its a sickening cycle and what the doctor prescribed
isnt even helping
i barely open my mouth to speak but my mind is
screaming
im starting to question myself, is this just
loneliness or is this insanity?
theres a fine line between the two and i dont know
whats affecting me
in a city full of people, i still feel so alone its
ironic
i want some attention but all i got is solitude and a
vodka tonic
i could write on and on till i ran out of ink and
paper
i could even carve this on wood and stone but it
wouldnt even matter
too many questions but no one to tell me the answer
i know life aint that hard but who said it would be
easy either?
